Don't Be Too Hard on Yourself!

Don't Be Too Hard on Yourself!
Don't Be Too Hard on Yourself!
Don't Be Too Hard on Yourself!


That's what I kept saying to myself. I was so disappointed with my presentation last night. I though I had a good preparation; it turned out that I did not prepare that well. I should have better prepared myself. Then, I didn't know how or why but everything that I had in my mind seemed to disappeared right when I opened my mouth. I skipped a lot of important things in my presentation. And, on top of all, I felt so stupid. 


Immediately after getting back at home, I punished myself so severe that I couldn't help myself from being lazy. I spent the whole night watching Melrose Place Season I (thanks to Amazon Prime Instant Video that only gave season 1 for free and made other seasons not, so that I will not waste more time watching the show no matter how entertaining it was) and went to bed at 5 a.m. Of course then, as a consequence, I skipped my dawn prayer and I woke up really late, around 10. 


I kept wasting my time and doing stupid things like playing games and not doing what I was supposed to do. I have a presentation at the international conference this Wednesday, Astaghfirullah! Yet, I did nothing but wasting my time. That's how I being hard at myself: by being lazy, wasting time, reminding myself how bad I was, reminding myself how useless I was, and any other thing that I could think of to make myself feel terrible and lazy.


Then I realized, there's no point of punishing myself like that. I couldn't go back to last night and made everything perfect. We all had "our moment": a time when we just don't perform well, no matter how hard we tried. So, I started to reset my mind to its positive thinking. My mood gradually changed. What I did was cleaning up my super messy apartment then spoiling myself with food, a cup of hot chocolate and I craved pizza by the way.


So, I think I may just get ready to go out and grab some pizza. I was going to order it but "OUCH" it was too expensive. I can't waste my money on food like that :D. My plan after this: I am going to read all the materials and better prepare for my presentation. Last night was a class assignment, this time it is more "serious" and "important" (not that last night's presentation was not). But it's an international conference! My very first international conference since I stepped my foot on the land of America.


Wish me luck everybody, and I think don't be too hard on ourselves. We make mistakes but we should just move on! :)

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